Hey, I’m back. Well, I’ve been back for a couple weeks. Vacation truly is vacation to me when I go to Colorado to camp out in the National Forest. It is a bit primitive, but a week or so isn’t that bad. We had a good time with family and friends. Stayed on the creek about a week and then with some of our friends who are caretakers of a ranch just 30 or so minutes from Creede. Beautiful country up at Red Mountain Ranch (actually the mountain the ranch is under is called Beautiful Mountain).
Work has been steady and changing some. Changing, I believe for the good. Bec started her fall semester PhD classes and it’s going to be tough, but I’m confident she’ll do great.
This is a short entry as I’m on-location for Williams today in Echo Springs & Green River Wyoming. Beautiful barren land. After business finished with time to spare before my flight to Denver, I started looking at comments and such from friends and I found a story I thought I would share. Amanda is a recent acquaintance of mine and she said I could share part of her blog talking about the loss of her sweet kitty, SAM. It made me think “deep thoughts” (yes, it’s a mighty task for me but, in my mind it was kinda deep). My condolences to Amanda.
Amanda’s comments:
“Eighteen years ago, when my family moved to Tulsa, a little gray and white kitten decided that he liked our apartment and refused to leave. I remember trying to talk my mom into naming him Pepé Le Pew because he had a white stripe down his back but she MADE me call him Sam instead. He immediately became MY kitten”…..”Today I took Samson (he answered to every one of these names, as well as PSST!. Every time I would say that, he would run to me) to the vet and had him put to sleep. He had suddenly gone blind while I was at work yesterday. His retinas were completely detached from his eyes and there was nothing we could do to make it better. Dr. Caruso asked me if I wanted to stay while she did it, or leave. I looked at Sam and told him we were doing this together. There was no way I was leaving him there by himself like that. He never walked away from me, I wasn’t doing that to him. I know, it might sound retarded because he was a CAT. But dammit, I grew up with him…” The way I missed him while I lived in Philly is similar to the way I feel now. The only difference is that I know I will never hold him again. I will never hear him purr again. I will never feed him again. I will never watch him chase a string again. I will never get to see him and Joey cuddle again. I will never get to watch Sam kick Joey’s ass ever again. I will never yell at him for eating grass again. He will never lay on my feet and keep them warm again. Sam is gone”…”I know I made the right decision today. He was too old to train himself to function without eyesight. I also just moved into a new apartment today, so the scents and directions of everything are obviously different.”…”I don’t remember life before Sam. And I have never been able to imagine it without him. If I ever get another cat, he has some very big shoes to fill”.
“Goodbye Sammy Pooh Bear Punkin Head Cutey Pie.
I was blessed to have had 18 years with you.”
My comment to Amanda:
“Not sure if you remember meeting me at Brad’s place a week or so ago, but I wanted to comment about Sam. I am sorry for your loss and I totally understand and feel your pain. Especially at the beginning of any loss, it seems the worst. My wife and I lost our full blooded seal point Himalayan cat, Pandora to a rare and awful tick disease. She went rapidly downhill, didn’t eat or drink, sat in the same place and spaced out. If I recall this correctly, her red blood cells were being destroyed and not replenished. My wife didn’t have the heart to let her go easy. We took her to the OSU small animal school where they could try to keep her alive with another infected cat’s blood that hadn’t succumbed to the the disease. It was valiant effort and I do hope it helped with understanding the disease more so that it can be combatted in the future, but, I regret that we didn’t put her to sleep instead as it really was stressful to her little body. We were devastated as Pandy had been with us practically the whole time my wife and I have been together. The hurt of death goes deep, especially when it is one you’ve bonded with. Death brings us all together as one, brings us to the reality of life: that all of us have an appointment with death. It’s unavoidable, it’s a fact. Your story brought back to me my loss and then, BAM, “boot to the head”…sadly I never learn. Over and over, this reality of life: death, gets clouded over by my silly complaints, pains, frustrations, problems…etc. As you must know, I don’t suggest we to dwell on death. I’m stating instead that I should focus on the fact, or should I say, the DEMAND that I MUST, MUST, REMEMBER to live each day WITH it’s struggles and frustrations. Demand of myself to NOT let it rule over the gift, the blessing of each day our Creator gives us of life and choice. Amanda, thank you for sharing your story to me, even though I just tripped over your blog for the first time.”
Look up more often! Peace!
CrAsH.. don’t burn.
