CrAsH -- "Remarkable how often the two traits, "Madness" and "Brilliance" coincide"

I’ve been thinking

crashdrew — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 00:07:01 +0000

It’s been a long time since I posted. Sometimes I just think this is useless. Then, I realize how it can be relaxing and can release things in my mind that I need to be able to get out and think some more on. And this one is one post I’ve been thinking a lot about for the past two weeks.

Those of you who know me, you know that I try to be humble and good toward all. You know I am not pushy with anyone or try to coerce anyone to do something they don’t want to do. I’m a heathen, yet I try to live my life before all in a way that shows compassion, love, genuineness, honesty…etc.

Do you know why? I desire to be a seeker of Christ. What you may initially assume a Christian is due to either your own experience or how you’ve been told how awful Christians are, I really strive to be different than the self-serving ones you know of. I’m one of the many who genuinely want to live among my community outside of the predetermined, theological bound, “churchy” ideals. To try to live within the simplistic means of being a Christian. “Christ-like” to me is non-judgmental. It’s forgiving when it hurts and thinking of others before myself. Treating others as I would want to be treated. You know? Kinda like how you would “think” Jesus Christ was when he was on earth in bodily form. We’ve all seen what some people who “claim” to be Christians act like and it turns our stomachs. And when we ourselves act outside of what we know we should, we feel the shame of knowing we may have contributed to that hypocritical “label”. I do know without a shadow of a doubt that I am in no way perfect in each of these areas that I profess to want to be better in. Living life as a follower of Christ. I fall short. I disappoint myself, my friends, my family. If you know me, you know that I believe actions are better than words. I’ve never been a fan of thumping people over the head with do’s and dont’s, condemnation, conformity and judgment. I hope in some way that Christ is reflected in my action and words.

My goal is to be 100% reflective of Jesus. Yeah it’s a lofty goal, and I’m not even close to being what he emulated. For example: someone who is trying to get in the best physical shape ever, has a path to achieve it. They set a goal that may be seen as well “over the top” and each day they focus and give attention to steps in achieving that goal. It shows them they aren’t where they want to be yet but that they are going forward toward that end. Likewise, I’m focused on something that will continue to show me that I don’t have it all together. It will humble me when I get cocky. It will bring me to ground level when my head gets so big it tries to float away. It’ll show me that everyone else around me isn’t the idiot I think they are when I think I’m so much better than them. It’ll show me my humanity, my emptiness as everyone else has and that we all really don’t have together even in times of success.

I’ve been ruminating over Paul’s letters especially Philippians 2:12 “Redouble your efforts (or) be even more careful to do the good things that RESULT from being saved. Obeying God with DEEP REVERENCE, SHRINKING BACK from all that might displease him.” So I ask myself…Am I careful? Am I shrinking back from going full boar in things? Do I allow things that are not “Christ-like” to turn gray in the spectrum of wrong and right? Things such as abusive language, visual distractions, attitudes and thoughts. I say it’s tougher now more than ever to be careful, with the way society has changed electronically, socially. Yet, verse 3 says “God is at work WITHIN you, helping you want to obey him, and then helping you do what he wants.” Is He within me enough? Does he reside in me, in my heart, in my thoughts, in my mind, in my ways?

So, what does it mean to obey God with DEEP REVERENCE? What is reverence? It’s honor, respect felt or shown; to have proud adoring or awed respect; to feel passion, devotion or tenderness; to idolize. To help figure out what I have reverence for, all I have to do is look back in the week and see what my focus has been on, what I spent my time in, what my mind chose to think about. I think the tendency is to be more concerned about ourselves and the situations around us that tweak us off. I don’t think we look up or outside of our own moment, our own little world to see others much. We see God as just kinda there or we only notice God when we are in need. Even if you don’t believe that Christ was the son of God or that his purpose was to forgive us of our sin and give us the option of what eternity we will have (because admit it, that’s a lot to have faith in); you at least know that we tend to get caught up in sticking our noses in technology or the daily grind of working to pay the bills so much that we forget to have time to be quite, to reflect, to focus back on to the beauty of creation. In doing this I think we actually can gain a balance again of what our life is for, what we should do each day and in essence how to succeed in pleasing God/the Creator/Abba father.

Comments? Criticisms? Snide remarks?

CrAsH…don’t burn

What do you think about this wacky idea?

crashdrew — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:24:06 +0000

A friend of mine got this email from an old neighbor. $600k sounds good in my household.

I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I’m in

favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a ‘We Deserve It Dividend.’

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S.

Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 plus, counting

every man, woman and child. 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at

adults18 and up. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon

that equals $425,000.00. My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a “We Deserve It Dividend.”

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends

$25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. But it means that every adult

18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife have $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.

Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads.

Put away money for college – it’ll be there.

Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

Buy a new car – create jobs.

Invest in the market – capital drives growth

Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves.

Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks

who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is

cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it, instead of

trickling out a puny $1000.00 economic incentive that is being

proposed by one of our candidates for President. If we’re going to do

an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult US Citizen 18+!

As for AIG ^ liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General

go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the

private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t. Sure it’s a crazy

idea that can never work, but can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party? How do you spell . . .

Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion

“We Deserve It Dividend” more than the geniuses at AIG or in

Washington DC. And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5

Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Sound good?

Life is good, don’t cha know

crashdrew — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:37:40 +0000

Hey, I’m back. Well, I’ve been back for a couple weeks. Vacation truly is vacation to me when I go to Colorado to camp out in the National Forest. It is a bit primitive, but a week or so isn’t that bad. We had a good time with family and friends. Stayed on the creek about a week and then with some of our friends who are caretakers of a ranch just 30 or so minutes from Creede. Beautiful country up at Red Mountain Ranch (actually the mountain the ranch is under is called Beautiful Mountain).

Work has been steady and changing some. Changing, I believe for the good. Bec started her fall semester PhD classes and it’s going to be tough, but I’m confident she’ll do great.

This is a short entry as I’m on-location for Williams today in Echo Springs & Green River Wyoming. Beautiful barren land. After business finished with time to spare before my flight to Denver, I started looking at comments and such from friends and I found a story I thought I would share. Amanda is a recent acquaintance of mine and she said I could share part of her blog talking about the loss of her sweet kitty, SAM. It made me think “deep thoughts” (yes, it’s a mighty task for me but, in my mind it was kinda deep). My condolences to Amanda.

Amanda’s comments:

“Eighteen years ago, when my family moved to Tulsa, a little gray and white kitten decided that he liked our apartment and refused to leave. I remember trying to talk my mom into naming him Pepé Le Pew because he had a white stripe down his back but she MADE me call him Sam instead. He immediately became MY kitten”…..”Today I took Samson (he answered to every one of these names, as well as PSST!. Every time I would say that, he would run to me) to the vet and had him put to sleep. He had suddenly gone blind while I was at work yesterday. His retinas were completely detached from his eyes and there was nothing we could do to make it better. Dr. Caruso asked me if I wanted to stay while she did it, or leave. I looked at Sam and told him we were doing this together. There was no way I was leaving him there by himself like that. He never walked away from me, I wasn’t doing that to him. I know, it might sound retarded because he was a CAT. But dammit, I grew up with him…” The way I missed him while I lived in Philly is similar to the way I feel now. The only difference is that I know I will never hold him again. I will never hear him purr again. I will never feed him again. I will never watch him chase a string again. I will never get to see him and Joey cuddle again. I will never get to watch Sam kick Joey’s ass ever again. I will never yell at him for eating grass again. He will never lay on my feet and keep them warm again. Sam is gone”…”I know I made the right decision today. He was too old to train himself to function without eyesight. I also just moved into a new apartment today, so the scents and directions of everything are obviously different.”…”I don’t remember life before Sam. And I have never been able to imagine it without him. If I ever get another cat, he has some very big shoes to fill”.

“Goodbye Sammy Pooh Bear Punkin Head Cutey Pie.

I was blessed to have had 18 years with you.”

My comment to Amanda:

“Not sure if you remember meeting me at Brad’s place a week or so ago, but I wanted to comment about Sam. I am sorry for your loss and I totally understand and feel your pain. Especially at the beginning of any loss, it seems the worst. My wife and I lost our full blooded seal point Himalayan cat, Pandora to a rare and awful tick disease. She went rapidly downhill, didn’t eat or drink, sat in the same place and spaced out. If I recall this correctly, her red blood cells were being destroyed and not replenished. My wife didn’t have the heart to let her go easy. We took her to the OSU small animal school where they could try to keep her alive with another infected cat’s blood that hadn’t succumbed to the the disease. It was valiant effort and I do hope it helped with understanding the disease more so that it can be combatted in the future, but, I regret that we didn’t put her to sleep instead as it really was stressful to her little body. We were devastated as Pandy had been with us practically the whole time my wife and I have been together. The hurt of death goes deep, especially when it is one you’ve bonded with. Death brings us all together as one, brings us to the reality of life: that all of us have an appointment with death. It’s unavoidable, it’s a fact. Your story brought back to me my loss and then, BAM, “boot to the head”…sadly I never learn. Over and over, this reality of life: death, gets clouded over by my silly complaints, pains, frustrations, problems…etc. As you must know, I don’t suggest we to dwell on death. I’m stating instead that I should focus on the fact, or should I say, the DEMAND that I MUST, MUST, REMEMBER to live each day WITH it’s struggles and frustrations. Demand of myself to NOT let it rule over the gift, the blessing of each day our Creator gives us of life and choice. Amanda, thank you for sharing your story to me, even though I just tripped over your blog for the first time.”

Look up more often! Peace!

CrAsH.. don’t burn.

Ummm, yep

crashdrew — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 04:23:27 +0000

Hi. I’m Crashdrew. I have a blog on this WordPress application. I don’t write much, but I would like to more.

Going on a southern Colorado trip next week to camp out in tents, fish mountain streams for trout, sit by a raging fire each evening with friends and family, visit friends that live close by and just breath in as much mountain air that I can.

Sincerely,

CrAsH

P.S. Diane? You reading this yet?

Classic routine in text form = brilliant

crashdrew — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:07:42 +0000

Long week, Spring, 10yrs

crashdrew — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:35:23 +0000

Ever watched the musical, “Oklahoma”? I have once and the song “O What a Beautiful Morning” is in my head as I came into work this morning on my bike. Clean cool air, sun peaking it’s face through a bit of cloud, a calm before the rush to work…”note to self: don’t forget to look up when outside on a morning like this. Except when under a line of birds on the wire.”

Long week: multiple events, two of six gone from office and Friday only 3 in office to take care of everything. Fun.

Spring: RJ (new nick name for wif) spent most of yesterday outside in the yard raking leaves and branches out of the flower beds and planting bulbs, wild flowers and some potted plants….

This type of weather does it all the time. We emerge from our winter shells and the warmth and sun drive a mechanism inside our bodies that says, “Out with you! ya houselubbing scallywag!”… get outside, exercise (walk by the river), start peeling away the cover of leaves and dirt left from the snow, rain and cold wind, plant new life for your future viewing. It’s almost like part of our genetic fabric. Dormant for months, arising with fury-like aggression. It’s almost unstoppable for some, others, well, are still inside playing with their X-box.

10 Yrs: This coming Sunday I celebrate 10 years at the same job and I continue to enjoy it still. Funny how most people I talk to hate their jobs or aren’t happy doing what it requires. I still like the people I work with and the projects I work. I have to say I’ve been blessed, not lucky, but blessed to still have this job. I probably stated it before, but these ten years have been crazy and scary at times. Since 1998 the department I’m in has been owned by 4 companies, been as big as 13 people and as small as one other employee besides me. I still think it’s a “God thing“. Those of you who know me know I’m not one for any type of “Christianese” talk, but this comment fits perfectly with this situation. Like Forest Gump said, “I may not be the smartest man, but I know what”…the difference from being lucky and being blessed is. Being allowed to keep this job has empowered my wife to experience what she has in business and local civics. It’s allowed me to know a huge amount of professionals worldwide that I know I can call and count on. It’s allowed me to be able to help out friends with video projects of their own. It’s allowed me to pay my home off at the family farm and purchase one in the downtown area of Tulsa, which has made a HUGE impact on the quality of life we live (i.e. river, walking or bicycling to work instead of 2 hours a day on the road, downtown events, downtown civic duties, gathering of diversified friends…). Other factors aren’t listed but, it’s been an overall good ride these last 10 12month periods. I hope that my “footprint” has been as much of a blessing to those around me as it has been for me.

Remember,

Look up,

CrAsH

2nd yr of video “insomnia”

crashdrew — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:30:02 +0000

This was the second year I went in with iBspoof and ChimChim to shoot, act, edit and spit out a 5 min film for the Tulsa 24hr Video Race that Living Arts, Philbrook and this year IAO sponsored. It was smooth and I think we really enjoyed working together.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ydgINntJ6NcThis year the three required elements for the film were:

THE THEME: “PRIVATE EYES, PUBLIC VIEWS”

THE LINE OF DIALOGUE: “SEEING IS BELIEVING”

THE PROP: A “MAP”

2008 Model

crashdrew — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 18:51:34 +0000

Do you believe being a good model in heart and soul produces good actions that others may see and want to emulate? I think so…my attitude, actions and spirit really do have an impact on my friends, family, business contacts, and even when I join together with others can impact cities. I have several examples that are either living or have lived that I can draw from that seem “worthy” of imitating. I believe that you can still truly be yourself and yet imitate others that you conscientiously or un-conscientiously. This surely makes one want to be aware of who they are gleaning attitudes, actions and thought processes from.

I don’t always remember this, but many people around me watch how I live…they watch how I react to difficulty, how I relate to people, and how my attitudes and faith makes a real difference in my life. Everybody seems to know when we screw up, almost like people can’t wait to find fault in us. But I also believe everyone actually is parched for genuineness, integrity, kindness, faithfulness, thoughtfulness, thankfulness, and a biggie, humility, in others. When is the last time you saw humility? Not much out there, but instead it’s this desperate shout of “listen to me, I’m right”, or “this is how it is and by the way YOU are WRONG”. I wonder if others see me living life with those better qualities and if I’m consistent enough to be a good model for 2008.

Most of you have heard someone say, “In this troubled world we are either part of the problem or part of the solution.” Am I a piece of the problem or a piece of the solution? What about you? For me, I become part of the solution when I make the great Creator more of the “core” in my life. Seems when I do that each day, I don’t get too distracted by the things around me that try to influence my actions and my thought processes.

I’m sure you’ve seen this, but makes you stop and think.

“CrAsH! Yeah you Crash, look up more often, get perspective on how you model your life.”

5 months…I stink at blogs

crashdrew — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 21:50:42 +0000

Ok, go ahead, all of you (Jennifer is the only one that reads this, so YOU Jen) flog me with ridicule for not posting anything. It’s ok, because I deserve it, well, sort of…being that Jen is the only one (JEN) that seems to care if I write anything here.

Anyway, I stink at blogs, because I guess I live life without computers as much as I can. I don’t even have my own at home, so I rarely get online outside of work.

Brief catchup: S

-Still biking back and forth from my job.

-Company shipped me out to HQ for employee video comments and Cali for 3 days for another company video interview session, this time with some of our clients.

-Multiple tastings of cheese and wine at the Center 1 Market. Still trying to make that work, just need MORE foot traffic.

-A local PR/Marketing firm keeps me busy with booking several weeks of satellite trucks, satellite space and conversion over to ISDN for a local show called OklaTravel Net.

-28th Annual Oklahoma Scottish Festival… meat pies, Guinness, Need Fire band!

-47th Annual Greek Fest just up from my home….mmmm, Baklava!

-Muskogee Haunted Castle…Cap’n Ivan and the rest of the scallywags

-13th Annual Wine and Roses event…poured “Herding Cats” with David

-Booth at “windy” Stone Bluff Wine Fest aka Green Country Wine Fest. Our 10×10 tent no longer a tent, but some sort of trashy art.

-Annual Halloween Party

-Satellite Media Tours and radio tours with Garth and Trisha

-Great visit with relatives in Valley View, Tx area.

-Jen had a birthday! (I had to put that in there since, well, yeah, you are the only one reading this)

-Busy, busy, busy….busiest last three months I’ve seen at work since I started myjob back in 96.

-Something called the “Worst Ice Storm in Oklahoma history”, hit us in this Centennial year of the State. I forgot what outrageous percentage of the state was without power, but it was well over 640,000 people that were left in the dark. I felt blessed with only having power out for a week and I still was able to stay home with a gas fireplace, topstove and water heater that still worked throughout the ordeal. I still have a huge limb on top of my home, but it’s not broken through and may not prior to the insurance adjuster showing up.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas…I stayed here in OK for the second year instead of making our trek to Illinois. Really wish I could have been with the Bryant and Lock crew!

Very thankful and ready for a prosperous 2008! Some say “Eight” denotes resurrection, regeneration; a new beginning or commencement. The eighth is a new first. Hence the octave in music, color, days of the week.

Here’s hoping!

CrAsH

H.P. #5 and Trippin’

crashdrew — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 15:24:40 +0000

We dug deep and actually went to a moviehouse and saw, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”

3hrs of fantasy in BIG IMAX format, was great and I might see it again in the IMAX format, but most likely I’ll watch it in the comfort of my own home.

This 4th movie was darker than “H. P. &the Prisoner of Azkaban”, as Mr. Pot deals with his deeper connection to “he who must not be named”. I think the effects, yet again, are done exceptionally. Especially the 20 minutes toward the end that they edited into 3-D, which is only the second movie (last yrs Superman Returns was first) to be edited with this high tech maneuver. 3-D, yeah, not like the 50′s version (even though the first patent for a form of movie in 3-D was in the 1890′s using a “stereoscope”) This 3-D is obviously computer generated, but quite extraordinary. It took six weeks for at least 120 IMAX technicians to go frame by frame of those last twenty minutes in the film. Quite grueling. Techie enough for you? Sorry, just didn’t want to give away too much of the plot.

TRIPPIN to S. Colorado again for our annual camping/fishing trip all next week! Do you have Google EARTH yet? Check out our camp area: Latitude: 37″49’46.03″N Longitude: 106″58’46.66″W right at the end of the road in between the ridges.

Yes, thankfully “Grandpaw” is able to make it another year after his cortisone shot in his knees. So we’ll be camping in the National Forest, fishing trout in the mountain streams and a camp fire each night (if no burn ban is enacted). This year it looks like Grandpaw’s youngest daughter and her family are joining us and Grandpaw and Clara. Should be a good time to chill, fish, hike and such. I’ll let you know if we get a bear visiting our camp again this year or not.

Eyes to the sky,

CrAsH